The mind is a devil that looks like an angel.
We produce a lot of things in our mind. Be it happy thoughts or vile desires. But, ultimately we are human and whatever we think or do, we do to satisfy our carnal desires. The animal within us storms around and rages and fumes, until we appease it. And what controls this beast? Our mind.
Although the mind is the source of all human thought and dreams, it is also the tree that grows the forbidden apple. It is nature's sophisticated Pandora's box, that has been placed in man,probably to achieve a pre-meditated goal. What could be nature's intent, is not so clear.
The very mind that produces love, happiness, empathy, sorrow, compassion,is the one that produces lust, anger, pride, jealousy and greed.
This shows two sides of the same coin. But, I think this is what makes the mind so fascinating and adorable.
I would like to compare the mind to a child. The child may be extremely naughty and might give a migraine to his/her parents, but the child also showers unconditional love on them. So, although the mind does do things tat we might not be proud of, it isn't inherently evil.
In fact, it is this dual nature of the mind at makes it so fantastic.
AGNI
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
The Dark and the light.
I have always believed that there is an angel and a demon within each of us. I have always wanted to find out what helps these demons grow and why they wilt away in the blinding light cast by the angels. This has resulted in my fixating on the darkness in people's souls and the decayed grounds it feeds upon.
In a way, this is what gives me an insight into the hearts and minds of people. But I have to agree. There is no point in learning the ways of the dark, when you have no knowledge of the light that can be used as a weapon against the dark, in the first place.There is no dark without light and I don't know why, but a part of me feels that the light feeds the dark and the dark feeds the light.
There is no basis or proof for the afore mentioned theory. But don't you think it's possible? You can sometimes see examples of this in certain situations in life. For example, Dr. Jacob Jack Kevorkian ( Dr.Death) thought he was doing people a favour by administering euthanasia. Of course, in his skewed perception, he was doing the right thing by ending the pain and the torture the person was facing. But, I feel that there was something dark that was feeding his beliefs. Of course, I'm no one to pass judgements on what other people believe to be the right thing to do.
Each one of us does things, which according to us, is the right thing to do. Even though there will be no ill will or bad wishes in certain situations, things have a way of appearing dark and dreary and sometimes just wrong. A person's mind is an ocean of complexities. Just like an ocean, it sometimes is a tempestuous place, rocked by confusion and emotions. So, though we are not psychopaths or plagued by mental disorders(as per the correct definition of the terms), we sometimes do things that others do not or cannot accept.
What I am trying to say is - the dark within each of us, makes a part of us. The light within us negates these dark ripples to a certain effect. It is the proper amalgamation of the two that makes us pure and good. But, that is not truly possible. For it is both the light and the dark that make us human. It is this very quality that helps us understand the intricacies of human thinking and behaviour. It is this darkness that we all fear, that makes the victory the light gains by destroying it(dark), all the sweeter.
AGNI.
In a way, this is what gives me an insight into the hearts and minds of people. But I have to agree. There is no point in learning the ways of the dark, when you have no knowledge of the light that can be used as a weapon against the dark, in the first place.There is no dark without light and I don't know why, but a part of me feels that the light feeds the dark and the dark feeds the light.
There is no basis or proof for the afore mentioned theory. But don't you think it's possible? You can sometimes see examples of this in certain situations in life. For example, Dr. Jacob Jack Kevorkian ( Dr.Death) thought he was doing people a favour by administering euthanasia. Of course, in his skewed perception, he was doing the right thing by ending the pain and the torture the person was facing. But, I feel that there was something dark that was feeding his beliefs. Of course, I'm no one to pass judgements on what other people believe to be the right thing to do.
Each one of us does things, which according to us, is the right thing to do. Even though there will be no ill will or bad wishes in certain situations, things have a way of appearing dark and dreary and sometimes just wrong. A person's mind is an ocean of complexities. Just like an ocean, it sometimes is a tempestuous place, rocked by confusion and emotions. So, though we are not psychopaths or plagued by mental disorders(as per the correct definition of the terms), we sometimes do things that others do not or cannot accept.
What I am trying to say is - the dark within each of us, makes a part of us. The light within us negates these dark ripples to a certain effect. It is the proper amalgamation of the two that makes us pure and good. But, that is not truly possible. For it is both the light and the dark that make us human. It is this very quality that helps us understand the intricacies of human thinking and behaviour. It is this darkness that we all fear, that makes the victory the light gains by destroying it(dark), all the sweeter.
AGNI.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
In the recesses of a nightmare
I recently read a book that was about sex trade and its inner workings. There are three ways of getting women and girls into this horrific profession - kidnapping, buying and coercion. this shows that contrary to people's beliefs, women in the sex trade DO NOT come into it out of their own free will. Many times it is a person who is very close to and familiar to the girl/woman. This makes it all the more heart wrenching. How could someone hurt a member of his/her family so? Not only do they sell of threaten people into prostitution, the rape and torture them. For their own sadistic, voyeuric joy, they hurt these innocent people.
Reading this book brought to the fore, the myriad problems and illnesses lurking in this world. From space, we see our world as patches of light. The electricity we use, lights up our countries. Looking at that, we feel the world is a happy and safe place. But, we fail to notice the large patches of darkness covering the earth. These are electricity-free areas.This is sort of symbolic of how there is diseased darkness in the midst of the light.
We humans spend all our lives in ignorant bliss. we don't even bother to wonder whether the happy faces all around us are just a facade. As long as we are prosperous and happy and safe, we are completely satisfied with the workings of the world. Even if we realise that someone is in danger, we would rather sacrifice their lives, just to keep our limbs intact. This shows how selfish and self-absorbed we are. But of couse, as we know - 'to be human is to err'.
A chord in the recesses of our soul rings when we come face-to-face with such scenarios. A desire to help, to hold, to cherish these lives takes hold of us. There is a chasm in my heart now. Whenever I have a happy moment, when I eat ice cream, when I sing a song, when I open my books to study, when I lie down on my bed after a tough day, I think of the plight of these poor women. Women who are forced to sell not only their bodies, but their honor, their souls, women like you and me. Some of these women are mere girls. Girls are sold right after their birth and sometimes, when families sink in the quicksand of poverty, these children are thrown to the beasts of hell. Their innocent childhood is ruined. What should be a time of happiness and fun, becomes a time of horror.
It is truly heart breaking to see these young ones and their adult counterparts becoming victims of rape, drugs, disease and torture. whenever I am happy, I know that somewhere, in the dark recesses of this worldly hell, is a little girl. A girl who has just been raped, just been hurt. A little angel, who is crying for her mother, wondering what wrong she did to deserve such a fate. She prays to a God who now ceases to exist. But it doesn't help. She is stuck. A prisoner in a nightmare, from which she can never awake.
Reading this book brought to the fore, the myriad problems and illnesses lurking in this world. From space, we see our world as patches of light. The electricity we use, lights up our countries. Looking at that, we feel the world is a happy and safe place. But, we fail to notice the large patches of darkness covering the earth. These are electricity-free areas.This is sort of symbolic of how there is diseased darkness in the midst of the light.
We humans spend all our lives in ignorant bliss. we don't even bother to wonder whether the happy faces all around us are just a facade. As long as we are prosperous and happy and safe, we are completely satisfied with the workings of the world. Even if we realise that someone is in danger, we would rather sacrifice their lives, just to keep our limbs intact. This shows how selfish and self-absorbed we are. But of couse, as we know - 'to be human is to err'.
A chord in the recesses of our soul rings when we come face-to-face with such scenarios. A desire to help, to hold, to cherish these lives takes hold of us. There is a chasm in my heart now. Whenever I have a happy moment, when I eat ice cream, when I sing a song, when I open my books to study, when I lie down on my bed after a tough day, I think of the plight of these poor women. Women who are forced to sell not only their bodies, but their honor, their souls, women like you and me. Some of these women are mere girls. Girls are sold right after their birth and sometimes, when families sink in the quicksand of poverty, these children are thrown to the beasts of hell. Their innocent childhood is ruined. What should be a time of happiness and fun, becomes a time of horror.
It is truly heart breaking to see these young ones and their adult counterparts becoming victims of rape, drugs, disease and torture. whenever I am happy, I know that somewhere, in the dark recesses of this worldly hell, is a little girl. A girl who has just been raped, just been hurt. A little angel, who is crying for her mother, wondering what wrong she did to deserve such a fate. She prays to a God who now ceases to exist. But it doesn't help. She is stuck. A prisoner in a nightmare, from which she can never awake.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Alone
Callouses and bruises,that's all there is,
To fill my shadowy grave,
No one to cry, no one to hold,
No one to take away the pain.
Of lonely hours in the dusty ground,
Of dreams unfulfilled,
The light's receding and its dark now,
So everything seems to be at ease.
But my ghost stands alone,
Near my tombstone, to pay the last respects,
For none came to cherish, to support,
None came to weep the one to be wept(for).
Friday, May 20, 2011
My home - The beautiful dark
Its so cold. I can't feel anything. The frozen mist is spreading over my body. But there is light. Lots of light. I can't understand what's going on. How can the light be cold? Maybe this means that the dark is warm. Hot even. Maybe I should hide in the shadows more often. The mere thought of the veils worn by the mistress of dark gives me solace. It should, since the light has let me down. People worship light. Call it god. They revel in its beauty. But I can't feel a thing.Do you know why? I am a creature of the dark. A child of the warm blackness.
Contrary to what people believe(rather what they want to believe), the creatures of the dark are not evil. They are far from it. We are God's creatures too. Just as the other creatures, we too deserve love.
What is light? Is light only the brightness the sun spreads on us ? Then, the brightness the moon in the sky and the stars in space give, must make the dark brighter than the light. Is light the warmth of the sun? Has not the moon warmed many lonely hearts for millenia? Or is light good and better because people say it is? Is it better because it has nothing to hide? Well, on both counts,we see that people even call the "good" bad, when things don't go their way. Also, it is the unseen and hidden that has provoked the thoughs and emotions of thousands of people for centuries. This has resulted in so many improvements.If you think about it, even the angels come to the earth to check on us at night. So is the dark so bad?
Do you want to know why I think people hate the dark? The dark is a complex world of beauty and mystery and knowledge. The creatures of the night are the only ones allowed to partake of the fruits in the field of shadows. This knowledge is life changing. The people of the light resent us for our prowess and the mysteries that we are masters of and so have created evil rumors surrounding the veil that guards our secrets. Consumed by jealousy, they have portrayed us as allies of the devil.
Whatever the reason, the light and the dark have been unable to get along for millenia. It sounds funny, because, light and dark are representations of the day and the night. Both essential to mortals. Still, when people speak of them, they exaggerate the beauty of the day, while our secrets and knowledge are left to rot from the place they came from - the shadows.
AGNI
Contrary to what people believe(rather what they want to believe), the creatures of the dark are not evil. They are far from it. We are God's creatures too. Just as the other creatures, we too deserve love.
What is light? Is light only the brightness the sun spreads on us ? Then, the brightness the moon in the sky and the stars in space give, must make the dark brighter than the light. Is light the warmth of the sun? Has not the moon warmed many lonely hearts for millenia? Or is light good and better because people say it is? Is it better because it has nothing to hide? Well, on both counts,we see that people even call the "good" bad, when things don't go their way. Also, it is the unseen and hidden that has provoked the thoughs and emotions of thousands of people for centuries. This has resulted in so many improvements.If you think about it, even the angels come to the earth to check on us at night. So is the dark so bad?
Do you want to know why I think people hate the dark? The dark is a complex world of beauty and mystery and knowledge. The creatures of the night are the only ones allowed to partake of the fruits in the field of shadows. This knowledge is life changing. The people of the light resent us for our prowess and the mysteries that we are masters of and so have created evil rumors surrounding the veil that guards our secrets. Consumed by jealousy, they have portrayed us as allies of the devil.
Whatever the reason, the light and the dark have been unable to get along for millenia. It sounds funny, because, light and dark are representations of the day and the night. Both essential to mortals. Still, when people speak of them, they exaggerate the beauty of the day, while our secrets and knowledge are left to rot from the place they came from - the shadows.
AGNI
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Emerald Fire
It was a desert. Sand swirling around like billowy clouds, unrelenting. Dunes rising like impregnable mountains, that threaten to swallow anyone who dares climb it. A green fire, hazy in the sandy mist was visible. At its heart, a silhouette.
I walked towards it. Curious, afraid.I had to know. It was pulling me to it. The sand swirled around me. It got into my eyes. I had to keep shielding my face from the pearly brown particles.I felt a tug, a weird pull at my heart, at my soul. It was as though the answer to all my problems and all my anxieties lay in the unseen and unheard wisdom of the silhouette.
I reached the flames. They reared up and roared. But I felt no heat. It seemed as though the fire did not want to hurt me. It just acknowledged my presence. The emerald hues parted. I knew I had to walk through them. I knew that the time had come. Time for the truth. Then............
My breath caught in my chest. I felt like I was falling. but I was aware of the ground beneath my feet. I couldn't believe what I saw. A woman. Silent. Her eyes contained a power words cannot express. She was still, so still, like time had stopped around her. I could feel her soul holding mine in a vice-like grip. She looked like death herself, who had come down to take me.
She had long, black hair that fell all the way down her back. She wore a red Saree, a thin, monotone, blood-red Saree. The pallu flew about her and covered her face like a veil. But there was no mistaking her. I would recognise that face anywhere. That was the face I saw, every time I looked into the mirror. It was me.
But it wasn't me too. I never had such a spine-chilling look about me. I never recalled ever looking at someone the way she looked at me. It was as though I was seeing another side of me. An uncontrollable force, all passion, rage and power.
She looked at me and smiled. A sarcastic, condescending smile, one filled with contempt. Probably contempt for my vulnerable, humane, practical, real side. She slowly lifted her hand and pointed a finger at me. Instantly, I froze. A freezing fear surrounded my heart, as though icy cold hands had gripped my soul. The sand flew around me like a sheet of darts. I couldn't guard myself against the onslaught. I felt myself falling.For real this time and I knew I was staring into the eyes of a power that had lain dormant for years. A power not just in me, but in everybody. You cannot slay it. You cannot enslave it. You cannot hide from it. It is a part of you, just biding its time to get out and unleash havoc. All you can do is befriend it. Then maybe, just maybe, it won't consume you in its raging fire, when it finally breaks out of the prison of our souls.
AGNI
I walked towards it. Curious, afraid.I had to know. It was pulling me to it. The sand swirled around me. It got into my eyes. I had to keep shielding my face from the pearly brown particles.I felt a tug, a weird pull at my heart, at my soul. It was as though the answer to all my problems and all my anxieties lay in the unseen and unheard wisdom of the silhouette.
I reached the flames. They reared up and roared. But I felt no heat. It seemed as though the fire did not want to hurt me. It just acknowledged my presence. The emerald hues parted. I knew I had to walk through them. I knew that the time had come. Time for the truth. Then............
My breath caught in my chest. I felt like I was falling. but I was aware of the ground beneath my feet. I couldn't believe what I saw. A woman. Silent. Her eyes contained a power words cannot express. She was still, so still, like time had stopped around her. I could feel her soul holding mine in a vice-like grip. She looked like death herself, who had come down to take me.
She had long, black hair that fell all the way down her back. She wore a red Saree, a thin, monotone, blood-red Saree. The pallu flew about her and covered her face like a veil. But there was no mistaking her. I would recognise that face anywhere. That was the face I saw, every time I looked into the mirror. It was me.
But it wasn't me too. I never had such a spine-chilling look about me. I never recalled ever looking at someone the way she looked at me. It was as though I was seeing another side of me. An uncontrollable force, all passion, rage and power.
She looked at me and smiled. A sarcastic, condescending smile, one filled with contempt. Probably contempt for my vulnerable, humane, practical, real side. She slowly lifted her hand and pointed a finger at me. Instantly, I froze. A freezing fear surrounded my heart, as though icy cold hands had gripped my soul. The sand flew around me like a sheet of darts. I couldn't guard myself against the onslaught. I felt myself falling.For real this time and I knew I was staring into the eyes of a power that had lain dormant for years. A power not just in me, but in everybody. You cannot slay it. You cannot enslave it. You cannot hide from it. It is a part of you, just biding its time to get out and unleash havoc. All you can do is befriend it. Then maybe, just maybe, it won't consume you in its raging fire, when it finally breaks out of the prison of our souls.
AGNI
Saturday, March 5, 2011
The Slug
I know a person, a guy, who is vulgar and rude.He leers at girls all the time. Its disgusting to see him leer at someone, its worse being the object of his leering.He's on the heavier side, with rolls of flab flanking him on either side. He has tiny beady eyes. To me he looks like a slug.
Last night I had a dream. What I assumed to be a dream, turned out to be a nightmare. I was walking along a corridor. The walls and the floor were all covered with cobblestones. There were candles mounted along the wall in candle-holders. The light from those candles weirdly fell only on me. Neither ahead nor behind nor to the sides.I walked for what seemed like hours. My feet, despite being clad by shoes, felt cold. A strange fear slowly crept its way to my heart. I couldn't see what was ahead of me. I was afraid to go forward, yet, couldn't resist not knowing where this dark, cold corridor led me.
Suddenly, the corridor ended and I saw a huge room, sort of like a living room, that was carpeted with a red silk and the ceiling was adorned by a crystal chandelier. The walls had long wooden extensions to them, in which were crystal balls filled with candles. The room led off to another,simpler room. I could hear weird whispers coming from that room. I slowly made my way towards that room. What confronted me there horrified and sickened me.
There in the midst of the dim dungeon, lay naked women,trying to cover themselves up. Their hollow faces were scarred with the horrors inflicted upon them. It was as though someone was sucking out their very soul. Someone or something. A weird smell filled the air and as soon as the toxic fumes hit the noses of these women, their eyes opened wide with horror. They cried and tried to back away from that evil entity that was subjecting them to such tortures.
Out of the darkness, came a beast. A sickly, big, slimy beast. It had a slimy, weedy green body that was emanating a radioactive glow and for its face, it had one of a human. The guy I was telling you about. It was him, in all his sick, slimy glory. He slowly made his way towards the women, a lecherous smile on his face. He caught them with his sluggish, snail like body and pinned them down. He engulfed them in his torturous vastness and muffled their cries. He then bent down to begin his play...........
I couldn't see anymore. I just couldn't take it. I backed away and began to run. The very breath in my body had stilled. A scream choked me, as it refused to come out. My mind had turned numb, at the face of evil. I didn't know what to do............
I woke up. Panting. Perspiring. Completely shaken. I just wanted to erase from my mind that awful nightmare. It sickened me to the core. It still sickens me. Especially when I see that guy leering at a girl. I have never been one to wish bad and evil unto others, buy in this case, I truly wish for him to suffer. I wish someone would rip his eyes out - the eyes he uses to strip off the clothes of innocent girls. I wish for him to suffer.
Agni.
Last night I had a dream. What I assumed to be a dream, turned out to be a nightmare. I was walking along a corridor. The walls and the floor were all covered with cobblestones. There were candles mounted along the wall in candle-holders. The light from those candles weirdly fell only on me. Neither ahead nor behind nor to the sides.I walked for what seemed like hours. My feet, despite being clad by shoes, felt cold. A strange fear slowly crept its way to my heart. I couldn't see what was ahead of me. I was afraid to go forward, yet, couldn't resist not knowing where this dark, cold corridor led me.
Suddenly, the corridor ended and I saw a huge room, sort of like a living room, that was carpeted with a red silk and the ceiling was adorned by a crystal chandelier. The walls had long wooden extensions to them, in which were crystal balls filled with candles. The room led off to another,simpler room. I could hear weird whispers coming from that room. I slowly made my way towards that room. What confronted me there horrified and sickened me.
There in the midst of the dim dungeon, lay naked women,trying to cover themselves up. Their hollow faces were scarred with the horrors inflicted upon them. It was as though someone was sucking out their very soul. Someone or something. A weird smell filled the air and as soon as the toxic fumes hit the noses of these women, their eyes opened wide with horror. They cried and tried to back away from that evil entity that was subjecting them to such tortures.
Out of the darkness, came a beast. A sickly, big, slimy beast. It had a slimy, weedy green body that was emanating a radioactive glow and for its face, it had one of a human. The guy I was telling you about. It was him, in all his sick, slimy glory. He slowly made his way towards the women, a lecherous smile on his face. He caught them with his sluggish, snail like body and pinned them down. He engulfed them in his torturous vastness and muffled their cries. He then bent down to begin his play...........
I couldn't see anymore. I just couldn't take it. I backed away and began to run. The very breath in my body had stilled. A scream choked me, as it refused to come out. My mind had turned numb, at the face of evil. I didn't know what to do............
I woke up. Panting. Perspiring. Completely shaken. I just wanted to erase from my mind that awful nightmare. It sickened me to the core. It still sickens me. Especially when I see that guy leering at a girl. I have never been one to wish bad and evil unto others, buy in this case, I truly wish for him to suffer. I wish someone would rip his eyes out - the eyes he uses to strip off the clothes of innocent girls. I wish for him to suffer.
Agni.
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